They/Them

It's kind of appalling that students often ask professors this question: "how do they want us to answer this?"

This is on exams, homework assignments, labs--all of which were written by the professor.

It seems there's some sort of disconnect between the student and the professor. As if the professor is just a conduit or an intermediary between the textbook and the student. This goes back even farther than college, as I recall this happening in high school.

Maybe the fact that some teachers were given such strict curricula that they could barely deviate without upsetting someone was the reason for this behaviour.

What's interesting is observing the professor's face immediately after hearing a question phrased this way. The expression reads: "am I a they? am I anonymous to my own students?" Basically the professor can realize at this point that he or she can make the questions harder and still have a non-corporeal entity to dump the blame on. Or the professor can realize that the train has left the station.

Poor Judgement Rules

Hopefully you've seen this gorgeous ad from VW about the little boy wandering around as Darth Vader. If not:


What's the issue?

Volkswagen is showing off a $20,000 car by highlighting a $200 feature.

This is so common it's infuriating. Lots of companies do this for a wide variety of products; bike companies point out a $20 derailleur upgrade on $700 bikes, computer companies with DVD drives or card readers, P&G, which has around 70% of the detergent market share, shows off each detergent's superior power as compared to the "other guy" or "competition." Maybe that's a different point, but the problem is the same. Consumers are idiots and they're only getting dumber and easier to market to.

Yes, none of this is a big shock. What's sad isn't that marketing works--it's supposed to work-- but that it's just that easy.

Within a few years I can imagine the Nike commercials: "Check out our shoes. With SOLES! Compare that to the other guys' shoes: just a scruff of a Hobbit's foot hair."

Pfft.

Stupidity Defined

Bike shop customers are special.

Customer: "I'm looking for a bracket for a light."
(it should be noted that this, in and of itself, is not an uncommon request, as the brackets do break, get lost or a second one is necessary for another bike)
Me: "Which light do you have? The brackets are different for each one."
Customer: "Oh, I don't have a light yet. I'm going to start with the bracket."
......

We tried, desperately, to explain that this is not how it works, that each light comes with its very own bracket.

Customer: "Do you have any lights with 8 LEDs?"
Me: "Why?"
Customer: "Eight LEDs are brighter than one."
I showed the customer our brightest light. It contained one LED. Then I showed him the dimmest headlight. Three LEDs in that one.
Customer: "But 8 would be brighter."

.......

At this point, we just assume that there's an internal monologue mixed with a game of telephone and chubby bunny.

Denial of Service

Dear Cablevision,

You suck.


Sincerely,
All of your choiceless customers.

To Clarify:

Cablevision has a near monopoly on television and cable internet service in the outer boroughs of New York. It shows.

Three websites, all of which at least somehow cover their "service," Optimum Online--cablevision.com, optimum.net, optimum.com/online--are all totally garbled and excessively saturated with links to useless services all leading to pages which take forever to load and usually fail to provide any useful information.

I believe Cablevision's approach to creating their various websites, there are more for their TV and their Voice service as well, was to ask themselves how they could make a website feel like a medical insurance claim. Yes, it's almost synesthetic.

Why the rant? Cablevision regularly has outages that last anywhere from 2 hours to 24 hours. Several times a year I have total internet failure. When ConEd had to do "brown-outs" for parts of Brooklyn and Queens this summer, their automated system called tens of thousands of clients to inform them of the fact. There was a press-release, everyone knew. When Cablevision has a "cablevision-out" there's no information on any one of their websites. Phone calls to their facility usually starts with the complete morons telling me to restart my computer, router, refrigerator, ironing board (i know it's not plugged in), reinstall Windows 3.11 and move my vegetables out of the crisper drawer. After I've done all that they tell me: "Well I see here that there's an outage in your area." WHY NOT JUST ANNOUNCE IT RIGHT AWAY? WHY NOT PUT A BANNER UP ON THE WEBSITE? WHY NOT HAVE A SECTION FOR "WE FUCKED UP AGAIN?!"

Yes, today is Blizzageddon 2010. Yes there are a lot obstacles today. The internet has been down for at least 15 hours (we know our whole building is affected). Cablevision's line has been busy that whole time (think DOS attack by an angry mob consisting of Brooklynites who aren't getting their YouTubes). Now, if you were a digital service provider with more online sprawl than L.A. wouldn't your first thought be: "Hey, let's give all of these customers, who are destroying our phone lines with their endless calls, some information on our endless bounty of websites. They'll be able to access that without having to talk to an operator or mess with their vegetables."

Anyway, AT&T is taking the hit for Cablevision today. My Nexus One has been working as a wireless hotspot since 9:30 this morning. Gotta love the unlimited plan!

Acting Out. Of Kindness.

When contemplating the various nefarious please consider the Tip Jar. When upon a counter, in an establishment of dingy repute, the hand is forced.
If, as an act of subversion, one would not submit to an enforced act of kindness what would that say about the state of things?

Gosh! Galoshes? Umbridge: Umbrellas?

If it's a downpour, feel free. If it's a drizzle in weather that's above 50 degrees, don't even think about putting those things on.

The human body was designed with some cool bonus features, one of which is: we don't melt in rain. There's this generously distributed paranoia when it comes to rain where people don their gear, galoshes and arm themselves with an umbrella no matter the duration of their time outside or the severity of the precipitation. These, interestingly, are the same people that go around with bare heads in the winter so as to not frizz up their hair.

Packaging‽

Is it hard for cereal and grain sellers to understand that half of my consumption of their product comes from being able to get at the product?

With few exceptions no cereal company that isn't Kellogs or General Mills has managed to make a bag that actually tears neatly. They all shred and pull apart unevenly, making the pour a rather poor one.

Note to cereal and grain purveyors: talk to 3M about a customized solution.

Good Design: Lupine Piko 3

Got a new headlight. Lupine Piko 3. Excellent, simple mounting mechanism: Velcro; swivel (about horizontal axis) head with friction washers so that it can be adjusted by hand.

The light and battery strap onto the helmet; short flattened--for easier bending--cables connect them without dangling or putting too much pressure on the well-sealed connector. The weight of the system is low enough that I can leave it on and not mind it. The whole system weighs around 180g.

The light puts out 550 lumens. How bright is that? It's bright enough that every reflective surface within 300 yards is clearly visible to me. The center spot is bright enough to be pointed at a drivers face when executing an illegal left (oncoming) ensuring that I won't be missed. At the very least I'll be able to clearly see the driver either looking or not looking at me.

This light is marketed as night time mountain biking lights. I find it to be an amazing commuting light.

Drivers = stupid ∴ I need bright lights to get home alive.

Thank you Lupine for making an excellent product. Full beard rating.

School Of Thought

If the Tea Party wins, gains power, what have you, we'll have to leave this country.

Not without a fight, I say.

I'm going to start a new school.

The School of Thought.

What is the School of Thought? It's a concept which will be new to American education: thinking--at all levels.

It's like a charter school, but for thinking. The charter will read: "I think, therefore I am." The antithesis of this is "I don't [need to] think, therefore I'm not." In Tea Party terms: "Glen Beck, therefore I'm not.

Brainplaint

Listening to This American Life is good for the soul. And for the brain. It's an excellent way to fill silence and to let me work on all sorts of various tasks.

I can't do my homework without being distracted. Not, I can't do my homework because I get distracted. I mean that my brain needs to be distracted from the (f)act of doing homework.

The brain needs improvements. I need to be able to listen to This American Life and read about Z and T scores at the same time.

Suggestions welcome.